Thursday, June 5, 2014

Stardust and Wisdom

I know I have been bad and it has been a time where I haven’t written anything… But I am back… kind of. First of all I wanna thank all the readers that subscribed even in my huge absent period and that kept on writing beautiful things to me, and if you are new as well, thank you so much for passing by.
The thing is that in the last couple of months, my life has been a rollercoaster, and I think I’ve learnt way much more about myself than I did ever before. I do still love photography, makeup, fashion, painting, animals and same old stuff, and I am gonna continue with the original project of this blog, that is exchange fashion from all over the world and also making friends. Many awesome people have added me to FB and I met a girl (just to mention one) that I feel I have known all my life, she is the best long distance friend someone can ever have (Miranda), same as other girls that always comment my entries, no matter how shallow they can be, and they always congratulate me for the good job (Janae is an awesome example).
And although I love my blog, all the blogs that I read, and creativity, because in my perception fashion is not just clothes or brands, but showing to everybody who you are by dressing (just as painting), I think this site needed a little twist.  And it is where I am working now.
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Still, some persons that haven’t got the chance to know me (and many of the special guests I have), could consider us really superficial, but I totally disagree, and although I am totally nuts (not in a bad way, I love myself), that is a part that I haven’t shown much in here. I tried to concentrate too much in what I was doing that I forgot what I was feeling or thinking… and in my idea, you can’t go against your essence,  and of course, neither hide it.
I know I am very intense sometimes, and I start thinking about the eternal questions without answers but that is me! I love my life. I love the people that surround me, love animals, love horror stories, love traveling, love cartoons, love weird food, love paranormal stuff, love alien stories, love all kinds of stories people has to say, love a long intense chat…. Love being alive!
So, where I am trying to get with all this, is that I decided to watch more carefully what I wish, want and feel, and share it in here. Sometimes it might be too cheesy, sometimes it might be too dark, but I think that as long as the blog continues with its flow on fashion, I can also use it to explore myself, and discover things about myself that I forgot, never knew, or never imagined.
I try to learn a little bit every day of anything possible or achieve a new experience, I try to become a better person, but I also like to live in the edge of life, playing with my emotions, because there is nothing that makes us feel more alive than feeling.
And yes… I have no clue of who I am, where I am coming from or what I wanna become/be/achieve… but since I also have no idea of how to answer those questions, all I can do is let the emotions flow and the life pass by, thus, learn from each experience… the tiniest, the most invisible. Thus, each day I become someone better than who I am already, and although I sometimes feel like falling apart into the deepest void… then there is a little awakening… and epiphany, and I become someone stronger of who I already was… and someone slightly better than I was. Never better than anybody, just better than my own very self.
Sometimes the information passing around me: time, evolution, philosophy, dreams, waking life, soul, black holes, dark matter, quantum physics, psychology, sex, feelings, history, wisdom, sociology and on and on… is so much and I feel like a lost animal in the middle of the desert with nowhere to go and I find myself completely defenseless since I can’t understand neither do anything for the chaos/order/magic that is going on everywhere around me. I understand perfectly I am a part of THE everything (such as anyone else is) but in the same way I know that somehow, even if maiden by star dust that also existed since the beginning of the universe, I am me, and no one can perceive as I do or feel as I do… but then again the question becomes… how to interpret that and use it for a bigger purpose… and how to clear Who I AM and what am I supposed to do in here and with all(nothing) the stuff I’ve learned through the years.
I have no clue…
But I am gonna work on it…
I know one day is gonna be a void, another is gonna be an ecstasies, and another one is just gonna be a fog in front of me… but that is the thrill… Discovering, sharing, seeing, understanding, experiencing, living. Living…

So, I am gonna be talking about some questions, doubts, wishes I have in my mind, I am gonna share some of my writtings (that have been hidden for years), perhaps some of my drawings, but of course, fashion, always fashion, since I don’t wanna twist the blog to something weird (since I’ve been doing weird things all my life).  So let’s see where this journey takes me… do you wanna walk the path with me? J

This has been a super long entry... so if you read it, thank you for bearing with me... but also, before I go... I wanna point here that, this blog, has reached over 100,000 visits. Unbelievable. Can't thank you enough for coming here.

Can't believe it!